Finding the words to come out to someone close to you can be hard, especially when it’s a close family member or a person who you’ve known all of your life. Finding the words when you’re a teen can be so much harder.
(Important Note: We understand how challenging it may be to live authentically by coming out to your loved ones and family members, especially if you live with them. However, if they’ve made prior remarks or showed attitudes about the trans/LGBTQ community that make you feel that they may react very badly or not allow you to live in their home, we recommend waiting until you are independent before you come out.)
Before you come out, you may want to speak with other trans youth and hear their experiences. We recommend you try to reach out to other trans, gender non-conforming, or non-binary people in your school’s GSA or in your hometown, if possible. A great tool to find LGBTQ+ Centers and Support programs is here: https://www.lgbtcenters.org/LGBTCenters
For those youth who feel ready and safe enough to come out to their parents, but may not know how exactly to say it, the below is a template for a coming out letter. We hope it’s a starting point to make your process less stressful, and gives you room to personalize it as you need.
- To find an LGBTQ Center near you, for possible in-person groups or support: https://www.lgbtcenters.org/LGBTCenters
- PFLAG is the United States’ first and largest organization uniting families and allies with people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer (LGBTQ). Find a chapter: https://pflag.org/find-a-chapter
- The Gender Spectrum Lounge is an online space for teens, parents, and professionals to connect with one another: https://genderspectrum.org/lounge/
- Planned Parenthood Resource Guide: Coming Out as Transgender
- GLAAD Resource Guide: Tips for Allies of Transgender People
- Teen Vogue Resource Guide: How to Come Out to Parents
- Support for yourself: https://www.glaad.org/transgender/resources