Holiday Season Self-Care for Trans Folks

The holiday season can be a tricky time for many of us in the trans community. While it’s often portrayed as joyful and full of connection, it can also bring challenges—navigating family gatherings, managing societal pressures, or handling feelings of isolation.

If this season feels overwhelming, know that you’re not alone. Here are some ways to prioritize your self-care and create space for peace and joy during the holidays.

Holding Boundaries

Setting boundaries is one of the most compassionate things we can do for ourselves. It allows us to honor our needs, protect our energy, and create an environment where we feel respected. This might mean limiting certain conversations, carving out quiet moments to recharge, or having an exit plan if things become overwhelming.

Take time to reflect on what you need to feel comfortable. Are there specific topics you want to avoid? Do you need to clarify how you’d like to be addressed? For example, you might say:

• “I’d appreciate it if we didn’t discuss [this topic] during dinner.”
• “Please use [my name] and [my pronouns] while we’re together.”

If you’re staying with family, think about where you can go to decompress—a quiet bedroom, a corner to read or listen to music, or even outside for a walk. If you feel safe, sharing your boundaries ahead of time with someone supportive can help. Allies can redirect conversations, correct misgendering, or simply be a reassuring presence in the room. Knowing someone has your back can make gatherings feel much less intimidating.

And remember, it’s okay to say no or leave early if you’re feeling drained. You might say something like:

• “I’m happy to stop by for dinner, but I’ll need to head out by 8 PM.”
• “I won’t be able to make it this year, but I’d love to catch up in a smaller setting soon.”

Boundaries aren’t just rules—they’re a form of love and care for ourselves.

Releasing Stress in the Body

Stress often takes root in our bodies, especially during hectic or emotional times like the holidays. Finding ways to release that tension can make a big difference.

Progressive muscle relaxation is one technique that helps identify and release physical stress. Start by tightening a muscle group—for instance, shrug your shoulders up, clench your fists, and squeeze tightly for a few seconds. Notice the pressure and energy it takes to hold that tension, then release it completely, letting go from 100 to zero. Follow with a deep breath and notice the difference.

Guided meditations can also help center your mind and body. Point of Pride has put together a trans-centered guided meditation designed for our community.

If you find comfort in thinking or speaking affirmations to yourself, check out these suggestions for words of encouragement tailored to our experiences.

Finding a physical outlet to relieve tension is a reminder that our bodies are worthy of care and attention, no matter what else is happening around us.

The Gift of Quiet Moments

Even if your family or friends are wonderfully supportive, the hustle and bustle of the holidays can still be draining. It’s okay—and often necessary—to carve out time just for yourself.

Sneak away to recharge by doing something that brings you peace. This could mean curling up in bed with a good book, taking a slow walk in nature, or even just sitting quietly with a cup of tea. These small acts of care can help you reconnect with yourself and give you the energy to engage with others when you’re ready.

Alone time isn’t selfish; it’s a way to show yourself love and compassion.

Treat Yourself

The holidays often focus on giving and receiving, but sometimes we need to give a little something to ourselves—especially if this season stirs up complicated emotions.

Consider gifting yourself something affirming. This could be as small as a tube of mascara, a pair of cozy socks, or new boxer briefs—anything that feels good and reflects who you are.

If finances are tight, there are other ways to treat yourself, like gathering friends for a walk to see holiday lights or sharing a delicious homemade meal. These experiences can bring joy without the pressure of spending money.

Remember, you deserve kindness and affirmation—especially from yourself.

Creating Your Own Traditions

For many of us, traditional holiday activities don’t feel like they’re meant for us. That’s okay—it’s an opportunity to create new traditions that align with who we are and what brings us joy.

Maybe this looks like baking a favorite recipe, crafting homemade decorations, or spending time outdoors with chosen family. You could host a cozy movie night, take a walk through your neighborhood, or try a new creative project or craft.

Holidays don’t have to look a certain way to be meaningful. They’re what we make of them, and finding ways to celebrate that reflect your values and identity is a powerful act of self-love and sparks trans joy.

In conclusion

The holiday season can be complex, but it’s also an opportunity to care for yourself in ways that honor your needs and celebrate your authenticity. No matter how you choose to spend this time, remember that you are worthy of peace, joy, and love—just as you are.

If you find yourself struggling, you don’t have to face it alone. Please consider reaching out to one of these trusted crisis resources for support. Help is always available.

Related reading...

• Plume: Managing holiday stress as a transgender or non-binary person
• FOLX: Holiday Survival Guide
• FOLX: Setting Boundaries with Family During the Holidays
• The Trevor Project: Holiday Self-Care Tips for LGBTQ Youth
• Included Health: Queer and Trans Holiday Survival Guide
• Queer Theology: 8 Queer Tips to Get Through the Holidays